Living in the woods

You know, living in the woods can be an interesting experience. just the other night, I was in the bathroom, about to take a shower, when I heard some noises outside my bathroom window. At first I thought "oh, just some animal, foraging for food." but then I listened closer, and I realized that it was a definite stepping pattern. "Holy shit!" I thought "There's a bear, outside my window. It's probably here to watch me take a shower! Norman Beartes up in this bitch." But, it also has it's benefits, being this far out from fucking everything. Like the fact that cops never come anywhere close to anywhere near here. So parties? they can be pretty wild and fun. Untill you drop your phone in a fire. Well... it's still a pretty cool time, if your phone still works afterward. Then you get to nickname it something like 'the beast' overall, it's not too bad of a place to live. Although, I still have to say, I'd rather live on the ocean I think!

what if?

Have you ever wondered, what would happen if some of your favorite video games were real? it would be awesome, right? No. It wouldn't be. Take for instance Pokemon. One of the most innocent games ever, supposedly. "But it would be awesome," you say "I'd have a cute little pikachu, and we have adventures and he'd be my best friend XOXOXOX ZOMGSOCUTE!!" I don't think so. First of all, there would be some MASSIVE licensing going on there. I mean, if we have licensing laws for things like handguns, and restrictions on knives and stuff, imagine for a second if there were little rodents running around with the power to turn anyone into a smoking crater. You want a pet growlithe or arcanine? Ok, that's just a 5 month waiting period, and a $4,000 license fee to take home that minature weapon of mass destruction. and then pokemon that can tear a person's mind apart with thier own? Forget it. The closest you'd ever come to seeing a psychic type would be on a tv show. Not to mention all those pokemon who like to... I don't know? Eat souls? A ride on a bike down the road would be like playing paper boy. Except all the people are pokemon. Trying to kill you. And the tornado is from a pokemon. And death is still death.
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